Alright here are some good jokes some people do not find them funny (Olivia) so I will explain them now.
Vin dieseil jokes: Normal people would not destroy the earth if it got in there way but vin is such a badass he would kick natures ass................so think of it this way no one makes rules for him.
Vin Diesel doesn't have to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Tall buildings duck under Vin Diesel.
Onions do not make Vin Diesel cry. Vin Diesel makes onions shit themselves
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.
If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
When Vin Diesel drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.
When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Circles exist because Vin Diesel beat the crap out of some squares.
Vin Diesel once shot Reno just to watch a city die.
The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Vin Diesel and forgot to pay him back.
Vin Diesel played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
Crop circles are Vin's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down............-my favorite
Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Vin Diesel can divide by zero.
When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead.
In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.
Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.
Whenever Vin Diesel plays Chutes and Ladders, he treats the chutes as ladders, because he's not some pussy who can't climb up a plastic slide.
Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
When Vin Diesel does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Vin Diesel can count backwards from infinity.
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